Stuck With You
by fallen for your eyes
Summary: "It's the tiniest little feeling, but it scares her, so once he can fly without her, she takes off, running as far away as she can in the park saying something about getting the drone to follow her, but really it's because she thinks her best friend is cute and she needs a moment." Childhood best friends AU.


**Okay, so this is dedicated to Barret Foa's wonderfully expressive shoulders. In 6x02, Wallace asks him his name, and he straightens up and goes "Eric Bartholomew Beale III", and my mind went that's probably something his parents taught him to do as a kid. And then this monster was born. Thank you for clicking, thank you for reading, thank you for being you! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

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He moves in on Tuesday afternoon in July. It a quick and quiet affair. One day the house next door is empty, the next there's a boy who's her age and a girl who's her sisters age, and Nell's mom is baking cookies and marching Nell next door to say hello.

"Mom." Nell tugs her mom's hand and tries to plant her feet in the ground, but it doesn't work. "Where are we going?"

Mrs. Jones looks down at her daughter and sighs, before crouching down to her height. "To make friends."

"Why are you bringing me?" Nell whines, trying to avoid her mother's hand that is trying to smooth down her hair to no avail.

"Because everyone else is busy."

Nell knows for a fact that's not true, but accepts it, as long as she gets a cookie out of it. Her mother rings the door bell and then there's another woman and her mom starts talking, so Nell studies the bushes instead of listening. She learned ages ago that when older people talked to long, it quickly became boring.

"And who's this?" the other lady asks, smiling at Nell. Nell stares at the woman, and then at her mom, unsure of what to do.

"This is my youngest Nell." Her mother nudges her forward just a bit. Nell opens her mouth to say hello when a boy collides into the other woman's legs.

"MOM! Emily won't let me use the computer!" He stops when he sees Nell, his eyes widening until they are almost bigger than his glasses.

"And this is my youngest, Eric. Why don't you two go play outside." The other mom suggests, and then before Nell can say anything, she's on the front lawn, staring at a boy.

He's shorter than her, extremely blonde, and his glasses are almost too big for his face. They're not talking, just staring at each other, not sure if the other is a friend or an enemy. Nell breaks first.

"I'm Nell." She says, offering him a toothless smile.

"I'm Eric." The boy says. He takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders, trying to make himself look bigger. "Eric Bartholomew Beale III."

Nell doesn't even know how to pronounce Bartholomew, and she was the smartest kid in the first grade.

"The third what?" she asks, partly because she curious, partly because she hates silence.

Eric shrugs. "My parents make me say it."

She decides right there, that he's going to be her friend. So she charges, tackling him to the grass, staining her favorite pair of shorts in the process.

Her hands pin his wrists to the ground, and she smiles at him triumphant. She's from a family of 7, and tackling her siblings was the only way to get noticed or to get what she wanted.

"Want to be best friends?" She's sitting on his chest. He's a few inches smaller than her, and he's struggling to breathe a little bit, but he smiles.

"Sure."

xXx

They start second grade hand in hand. For the two months leading up to school, they had spent nearly every day together, running through backyards, sharing a computer, finishing all the puzzles in both of their houses, and stealing Nell's older brothers' toys from their closets.

Somehow, their mom's make it so they're in the same class and even though they don't sit next to each other, it's the first time Nell's had an actual friend in class. They eat lunch together, they play tag together, they do everything they possibly can together.

Even when they are put in separate classes in the third grade. Even when the lunch monitor makes them sit at different lunch tables because she thinks they should make more friends.

Even when the bigger kids start picking on Eric because he's small.

"Leave him alone." Nell stands in front of the boys who are nearly twice her size, shielding Eric from their fists.

"What are you going to do about it?" Jimmy Finch says. He's the school yard bully, and Nell hates him with every fiber of her being. He decided to pick on her best friend because he was small. She decides she's going to teach him a lesson.

She breaks her first nose and gets her first suspension in the 4th week of fourth grade, and it's worth every second.

"I brought you your homework," Eric says, standing on the imaginary line between their backyards. His glasses are broken and he has a black eye and some cuts on his arm, but overall, he passes her inspection.

"Thanks." She takes the plastic bag from him and sits down, along the line, waiting. She doesn't know what he's feeling. Apparently, Jimmy had been bullying him since the beginning of the year, but Eric hadn't told anyone - hadn't told her - and she doesn't know why.

"Sorry you got suspended because of me." Eric says, finally sitting across from her.

She shrugs. "It was worth it."

"Um," He swallows hard and goes to rub his eyes, but he flinches before his hands get to close. "Look, it means a lot what you did, but you don't need to stand up for me." His eyes are trained on a spot that is definitely not her face and sun is setting, so she can't really read him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No!" He shakes his head and his eyes move to somewhere that still isn't her face. "It's just-"

"Is it because I'm a girl?" she's not sure if she's angry at him or at the world, or at herself.

"No! Jeez Nell, just let me-"

"Are we fighting? Is this our first fight?" She stands up, grabbing her bag of homework, and turns to storm back into her house but the bag rips, causing everything to fall to the grass. She's trying to hold back the tears, but she's 9 years old and her best friend is mad at her because she punched someone for him.

"Nell." He's quiet behind her and when she turns, he's holding all of her books in his hands. The lights from her kitchen light up his face, letting her finally see his black eye clearly and she hates Jimmy Finch most of all.

"It's not any of those things." He takes a step over the imaginary line. She glares at his feet. "I just don't want them to come after you. I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

Her eyes roll to the back of her head as she punches him in the shoulder, softly, to know she's no longer upset. "I broke his nose. And the principle said it was his fault. He's suspended 4 days longer than I am, and he's being moved out of your class." When they reach her door she turns to him. "His dad also took away his Gameboy. Want to come inside, my mom made brownies?"

He looks inside and then back at her. "I can't tonight. I promised Emily I would teach how to play Pokémon." He passes the books over to her, smiling, as best as he can with his face all messed up.

Eric's halfway home before he turns to her, more of a shadow than a person. "Thanks, by the way. It's good to know my best friend has my back."

Nell shakes her head and walks into the kitchen, and if her mom notices the way her cheeks are red, she doesn't comment.

xXx

In 5th grade, he gets an Xbox, and their entire world changes. They don't have to crowd in front of her dad's computer anymore, instead they can spread in his room playing video games until the sun goes down and her mom makes one of brothers' march over to take her home.

Nell's brother David gets a drone for his birthday, and it ends up in the back of his closet like the rest of his toys, so it's easy as pie for her to steal it. On nice days, they go to the park and fly it until the batteries die. They take it apart, they put it back together, they learn more about the drone that they know about themselves.

For his 10th birthday, she buys him three different Xbox games, two of which because she wants to play them herself and the third because it has dragons on the cover, and Eric loves dragons.

For her 10th birthday, he buys her the biggest drone she's ever seen in her life.

"Where did you even find this?" She squeals, barely able to hold in the basket on her bike.

"If I tell you, then I would have to kill you."

The drone crashes more than it flies, but it becomes her most prized possession, and she hides it in the secret space at the back of her closet so none of her siblings can steal it.

They make it through fifth grade and middle school and everything, much like they started second grade – next to each other, no longer hand in hand, but together.

"Hey."

He scares her, his voice coming from almost nowhere. They are 13, he's sitting in her window with only 3 scratches on his arm from her mother's rosebush, and he's smiling at her. "My dad said I can ask if you want to come the shore house with us this summer." It's their last summer before high school, before they possibly won't have the same lunch period or same classes, because he's taking sign language and she's taking Spanish, and the high school is so big, she isn't sure if she's ever going to see him.

"How long?" she looks up her laptop, the latest edition she had gotten for being the top of her 8th grade class.

"Dunno yet. My dad said we might stay for July and August, depending on his job. You wouldn't have to come the whole time if you don't want. I know it's Belle's last summer before college."

"I'll ask." She responds. The crickets from outside are the only sound in her room for the next few minutes.

"It's a nice night." He whispers. She almost had forgotten he was there.

"Yes."

"And, I may or may not have found a way to get onto the garage roof without hurting ourselves."

She glances over the screen. "Are you being serious?"

"Scout's honor."

She rolls her eyes as she grabs her sneakers and a sweatshirt. "You never were a boy scout."

But he's already out the window, holding his arms out to catch her. She's still taller than him, but not by much.

They make it to the roof without falling or getting caught, and it's only the end of May, but Nell can smell summer on the horizon and it excites her. Eric had been going to his family's beach house for as long as she can remember, so her summers were usually spent a little lonely, following her sisters and their friends around, and trying to build contraptions from left overs in the garage.

She has other friends, but none of them are like Eric. No one understands just how her brain works like he does, no one knows when to let her win when she's having a particularly bad day, no one knows how to make her smile when she feels like the world is crashing down. No one but Eric.

"I'm going to learn how to surf this summer," he says, after they stared at the stars so long that her eyes start to hurt, and she starts to get sleepy.

"Really? At the Jersey shore?"

"Yep. I've watched some videos. Read some articles. Shouldn't be too hard."

"Whatever you say Einstein."

He doesn't answer her, and she's pretty sure he's fallen asleep until he taps her wrist.

"Promise we'll always be best friends." He's yawning as he says it. There's no one watching them but the stars, so she reaches out and grabs his hand, something they hadn't done since the 4th grade.

"Always."

xXx

Her parents let her go for an entire month. An entire month of no siblings, of no one trying to steal her computer, of no one calling her a nerd or tackling her for the last brownie.

An entire month of just spending time on the beach, watching Eric learn how to surf, eating way too much ice cream, falling in love with the sunset, burning to a crisp because of her stupid red head genes, learning to love the feeling of salt water on her skin, way too many fantasy movies from the rental store, building robots and contraptions with Eric and watching Eric's hair get blonder and blonder with each passing sun rise. It's the best month of her life.

August is less fun. It's filled with more sisters and a crazy mother worrying over her 3rd kid going to college, like she hadn't done it before. It has a dad who tries to understand her love for video games and computer programs, but really just wants to play softball with her. Worst of all there's no Eric.

He comes back, sun kissed and blonde as the day she met him, almost a whole head taller than her.

Which isn't the way she left him. It almost shocks her because she's so used to looking down at him, but now she's more around his nose and she doesn't like it. Nell doesn't like the way when she gives him a hug, she's the one who has to put her chin on his shoulder, or that she can smell the cologne his sister bought him for Christmas and it isn't the worst thing in the world.

They don't have a single class together. She has lunch 4th period and he has It 7th. Their lockers are miles away from each other, and Nell decides she hates high school. There's so many people, and every day everyone seems to get taller.

She doesn't like that half the kids in her classes are on their phones most of the time or that she's the only girl in the computer science lab and she especially doesn't like that Eric seems to be just fine. He's always been better at making friends than she is, and he joins almost too many clubs to be possible.

But he waits for her, every day next to her locker, always with a story and sometimes a brownie. And that's almost enough to make everything okay.

xXx

They stop talking for two weeks when they are 15.

"I'm going on a date." She falls onto his bed and stares at the ceiling, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Congratulations?" He's playing the game she got him for his 10th birthday on his Xbox, and typically she would join him but she's stressed.

"It's with Jimmy Finch."

The resounding silence is enough to tell her what she thought was going to happen. Nell wants to hate herself, wants to call Jimmy and tell him she changed her mind, but she wants to go on the date. She's not exactly sure why.

They have English together, and the first day, he sat next to her and apologized. It was weird and out of nowhere, and from that, she somehow started to talk to him. Then he asked her on a date.

And she said yes.

"Oh." Eric doesn't look at her. He doesn't pause the game or anything. "Cool."

It's not like him to be so quiet.

"Are you mad at me?" She's still staring at his ceiling, counting the seconds between each of his breaths.

He doesn't answer her. She forces herself to sit up, but she's looking at the back of his head and she can't read him.

"Eric?"

"Oh. Sorry." But he still doesn't answer her question. She moves until she's in front of him, in front of the TV, in front of whatever he's trying to hide from her.

"Eric."

He sighs and tosses the controller to the ground. "What do you want me to say, Nell?"

He's hurt. She can tell he's hurt, but it just makes her angry.

"I don't know. Anything!"

"I don't have anything to say."

"It was fourth grade Eric."

"I know."

"Then why are you still angry?"

He laughs, almost, and looks away from her. "I'm not. Okay. Go. Have fun." He pushes past her and pops the game out of the Xbox, putting in different game, one with more guns and blood and less dragons.

"You don't want to talk about this?" She realizes her voice is shaking and her hands are shaking and her heart is shaking. The last time they had any semblance of a fight was over 7 years ago. They knew when to stop pressing each other's buttons, when to give each other space.

"Not really." He picks up the controller and moves so he can see the TV.

"Fine." She slams his door on the way out, and doesn't start to cry until she's back in her own room. She hates that she's crying over stupid boys, over her stupid best friend. She has 4 brothers, and she knows that boys aren't worth crying over, but she hates fighting and she hates that her first actual date ever might make her lose her best friend.

He stops coming to her locker.

Lucie does her hair and Belle calls her from college and tells her to go into her closet and get a dress, and for some reason the twins are home and stand at the door when Jimmy comes to pick her up, and she does not look at Eric's window as they drive away, and she does not check her phone at least 4 times an hour to see if he has texted her, and she does not think about him when Jimmy tries to kiss her and she moves her head so he catches her cheek.

And it's not really Eric's fault that she doesn't like him. The date was fine, but they have nothing in common. He likes sports where she likes computers. He likes comedy movies where she has a soft spot for documentaries. It's all a bunch of stupid things but she doesn't want to go on another date with him.

"Jimmy." She says, taking his hand after the terrible, terrible kiss attempt. "I like you. But-"

"We should be friends." He finishes, and sighs in relief. "My friends egged me on saying we would be good together, but I really just wanted to be your friend. I'm sorry."

She smiles at him, and kisses him on the cheek, properly this time. "Don't be." She hops out of his car and walks to her door, trying not glance at Eric's window with every step. She can see the lights of his T.V flashing letting her know he's in his room, and she wants to see his face, because it's been a week since they fought and she's losing her mind.

It takes her another week to storm over and knock on his door.

"Hello Nell." Mrs. Beale answers the door and she looks glad to see her. "How have you been sweetheart?"

"I'm okay." She doesn't want to be rude because she loves Mrs. Beale like a second mom, but she wants to see her best friend.

Mrs. Beale gets a knowing look on her face and ushers her in. "He's in his room." She pats her on the back and then disappears down the hall.

Nell suddenly loses all her nerve, staring at the stairwell. She doesn't know if she's ruined everything or if he even wants to see her.

But then she sees the scuff mark on the third step from when they fell down the stairs when they were 9, and she remembers the night on the roof, and how he's her best friend, so she steals herself up before all but running up the stairs and crashing through his door.

"I can't do it anymore!" She says. Nell doesn't look at him, but she can feel him looking at her. She pulls open her bag and throws the Tupperware container at him. "I tried to make homemade Oreos to apologize, but they didn't work. So instead, I bought us the newest drone from Walgreen's." She finally looks up, and comes face to face with her best friend's shirtless chest. It's not like it's very new to her. She's gone to beach house every summer since 8th grade, and sometimes her dad puts up the blow up pool they bought years ago in the backyard, but it's been months since she's seen him shirtless and it was never inside his room when the sun is about to go down.

The change of scene makes the whole situation seem oddly intimate and she finds herself staring and blushing and dying all at the same time.

"Hi." She squeaks, before spinning around and covering her eyes. "I've missed you."

She hears him rustle around and gives him a few more seconds before she turns around. He's wearing the stupid periodic table shirt she got him last year, and his ears are almost as red as her hair.

"I've missed you too." His eyes soften, just slightly, and she breaks. Before she knows it, she's crying and surging forward so she can hug him. He's grown even more since the last time she's hugged him so she fits perfectly at his shoulder and when he hugs her, he squeezes her so tight she can't breathe but it's okay, because she's missed him.

"Let's never fight again." He says, once she pulls away. His hand comes up to her cheek and brushes away her tears and it makes her want to cry more, but she doesn't. Instead she grabs his hand and the drone and her failed box of cookies and drags him to the park.

"This is the new edition." She explains, placing the controller in his hands. It's a smaller drone that the one's they've been handling the past couple of years but it has a built in camera and GPS device.

"Do you know how to fly it?" he asks, staring at the controller, confusion across his face.

She situates herself next to him placing a hand over his to show him how to fly it. They get it in the air causing him to cheer, and then Nell is struck by how close she is to him.

It had been nearly 2 weeks since they talked, and everything about him seems new. Her eyes reach only to his collar bone now and from her distance she can see his jaw, and she's not sure how she's missed it before, but with a jolt she realizes her best friend is attractive. And she's close enough to him that every breathe she takes smells like Eric, who somehow smells like the beach even though it's nearly December, and it makes her heart jump.

It's the tiniest little feeling, but it scares her, so once he can fly without her, she takes off, running as far away as she can in the park, saying something about getting the drone to follow her, but really it's because she thinks her best friend is cute and she needs a moment.

And then, he's chasing her, the drone falling between them, and he's running after her, and she's laughing, and he's laughing, and for the first time a while, it feels like the world is alright. He's catching up to her, and then next thing she knows, he tackles her to the ground pinning her arms above her head, and she's breathless and so, so happy.

"Want to be best friends again?" He asks. This time, he's a couple inches taller than her, and he shifts his weight so he's not crushing her, and she's smiling and laughing and nodding, and it takes her two seconds to realize she wants to kiss him.

It nearly stops her heart short, and he's lifting her up in a second, brushing the grass from her hair and asking her if she's okay.

Nell's not sure, but she nods, and smiles and tries to laugh again, but she wants to kiss her best friend, and she doesn't know what that means.

"Did you try the Oreos?" She asks, trying to shake off whatever the stupid feeling in her stomach is.

"You said they failed."

She punches him in the shoulder and picks up the drone before tossing one of the cookies at him. "It's the thought that counts asshole."

He takes a bite and smiles at her as he chews. "Could be worse."

She wants to punch him again, but instead she falls into the grass and looks up into the sky, and wishes on the stars for the stupid thought of his lips on hers to go away.

xXx

They're on the roof again.

In the past years, it had become their spot where they would go when they didn't want to speak, but wanted to be in each other's company.

It's April. Nell had stared at the acceptance letter as long as she could before the climbing to the roof, sending Eric a quick text to let him know where to find her.

"What's up, rock star?" He lays down next to her, their arms touching, causing sparks to dance along her skin and she hates him because it's been over 2 years and the stupid feeling of wanting to kiss him had not disappeared.

She passes him the letter instead of responding, because speaking is too hard at the moment. She's shell shocked, and a bit surprised and totally blank at what to do.

Nell hears Eric sit up, and the paper crinkles and then he's somehow hugging her and talking at a mile a minute.

"Stanford! Nell, you got into Stanford! Congratulations!"

She's trying to hold it together, but for some reason she wants to cry. They are the top two in their class, her only second to him because he was 2 points better than her in English. He's going to MIT in August, and she was planning on Harvard, but Stanford answered her, finally, with a bigger scholarship and an even better program and she wants to be screaming for the rooftops, but she knows she's going to California, and he's going to Massachusetts, and her heart is breaking. The longest they had ever gone without seeing each other was about a month, but now it's going to be four years, with small times to see each other twice a year, and she suddenly doesn't want high school to end.

At some point, he lays down next to her again. I's quiet and she doesn't want to cry anymore, but she doesn't want to let go of his hand either.

"Hey." He nudges her arm, just lightly enough as if not to wake her if she was sleep.

"Yeah." They are whispering even though only the stars could hear their secrets, but if she speaks any louder, she feels like she will break.

"Do you have plans for prom?"

She turns over and stares at him, barely able to see him in the darkness. "What?"

"Prom, you know that big dance at the end of high school where everyone dresses up and dance before going somewhere and getting smashed for an entire weekend?" He's smiling at her as she goes to smack his chest but he grabs her hand instead.

"No. I don't have plans."

"Good." He pulls her up until they are sitting, and on his lawn there are tons of candles, all arranged in a bunch of zero's and one's. It takes her a minute to realize the candles spell out prom in binary code and he's such a nerd, but he gets her.

She wants to hit him almost as much as she wants to kiss him, but instead she shakes her head at him and leans onto his shoulder.

"How did you even?"

"Sometimes our siblings are actually decent people." He tosses an arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer. "I didn't know you would be getting into Stanford today. I really don't want to take away from that."

"Don't be stupid." She kisses him on the cheek, because it's something best friends can do, and she forces her stomach to stop fluttering. Someone takes a picture from the backyard, and her brothers are cheering and his sister is taking as many photos as she can.

She feels stupid for wanting to cry before because she realizes Eric is her best friend, forever and always, and no matter where in the country or the world they are he always would be.

"Is that a yes?" He asks.

"Yes dumbass." And she wants to kiss him, but it's not the right time. She doesn't know if he feels the same way and she's okay with waiting. She's okay with never doing anything about it.

xXx

Nell loves college almost as much as she loves California. It's different. It's a change of pace. She's actually challenged, she can spend her days studying in the sun, there's other people who think like her and want to be her friend, and she doesn't have to try so hard to make friends.

Her first friend is her roommate, Kensi Blye, in all her messy, 5'10, kickass glory. She likes to party, and makes it her soul mission to drag Nell with her. Somehow, they collect Rose Schwartz, who want to a medical examiner because she's shit at talking to people but amazing at human anatomy.

And suddenly, for the first time in her life, Nell has girlfriends, people who aren't her sisters who she can share makeup with and trade stupid magazines with and share clothes with, even if Kensi is over 9 inches taller than her. They're not Eric, but they come pretty close.

From them come Marty Deeks, Kensi's boyfriend who is the epitome of blonde surfer boy, who is also making his way toward law school, and Nate Getz, who they qualify as their older friend, who can buy them alcohol on Friday nights and psychoanalyze them on Sunday mornings. Nate drags his freshman roommates into the group, Sam Hanna, the criminal justice major who had muscles bigger than her face, and G Callen, who's studying international relations, and could probably kill her with a pen.

It's a mishmash of people and ideas and Nell loves it. She loves their beach trips, and how Nate barely fits on a dorm bed, and how Deeks has a hundred different nicknames for her, and how Kensi says they should go to a monster truck rally just as roommates because they need to let off some steam.

All it's missing is Eric.

They text all the time, even if it's just to send a picture of their faces. He loves MIT as much as she loves Stanford, and he has friends and classmates and a whole new world she doesn't know about, but he's still her best friend. She misses Thanksgiving and their first Christmas home he's spending in Germany with his grandmother, so when they finally get to see each other, it's the second week of January and she goes back to school in a week.

"You're not allowed to go back to California." He's lying across her bed on top of all the clothes she's supposed to be packing.

She grabs her bra from underneath his head and he reaches up to grab it, not realizing what it is until it's too late.

He has no time to save face and instead of trying to save him she just crosses her arms and glares at him.

"Oh." His cheeks almost turn the color of her bra and it takes all of her composure to not laugh at him.

"Can I have it back?"

She's known Eric over 10 years so she knows he flusters faster than the speed of light and he's terrible at coming back from it.

"Yeah." He coughs and tosses it backwards, throwing his arm over his face.

"Can you get off my clothes now?"

"No. Never. You are not going to back to California."

Nell sighs before collapsing on the bed next to him. "Then you're not allowed to go back to Massachusetts."

"Fine. You're stuck with me."

She flips herself over landing so she's hallway on top of him. "Where shall we go?"

"Well, first we should backpack Europe, you know see all the sights, visit all the famous graves, climb a mountain or two." He shifts so he can put his arm around her. "After that, we can go and build houses in Guatemala and Haiti and other places like that. Then, we can start our own drone company, be super successful, donate half our fortune to various charities, start a scholarship fund. Buy a castle, become the king and queen have 100 dogs and all the fish you want. And that's just the beginning." His fingers are drawing lazy circles on her arm, and if he looks at her, she's going to something drastic.

"I like that plan," she says, squishing herself closer to him, so her ear settles of her his heart.

"Yeah? Me too. We get to stay together-"

The door crashes open, and Eric jumps, falling off the bed, taking half of her clothes with him.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Lucie says, covering her eyes. "I didn't real- "

"Luce, open your eyes idiot." Nell throws a sock at her sister as Eric tries to untangle himself out of her mess of dresses.

"I was coming to see if you needed any help packing. But it looks like you got it covered." Lucie's eyes settle on Eric and she waves. "How's Emily?"

"She's good. She loves her job and the city and life. I'll tell her you say hi." He finally sits up, free of her clothes.

"Aw, thanks. Mom said to invite Eric to stay for dinner by the way." She shoots Nell a wink before she skips out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"She's so annoying!" Nell groans, falling back against her shoes.

"Her hearts in a good place."

"You ruined my piles." Nell says. She glances at the chaos around her before she squeezes her eyes shut. His hand drops to her knee, and she ignores the way her entire body heats up.

"I'll help you fold them again. Come on, we have a genius to get back to California."

She keeps her eyes closed for an extra second, letting herself imagine that he would be coming back with her.

And it works until he lays down next to her again and tickles her until she gets up.

She loves college but she hates leaving him.

xXx

"He should come visit." Kensi jumps onto Nell's bed whisking her phone out of her hand, sending the message before Nell can stop her.

"Kensi!"

"I want to meet him. Rose wants to meet him. Everyone wants to meet him." Kensi stretches, her hands nearly hitting the ceiling. "Oh look he answered."

Nell jumps off the bed to stay out of Kensi's reach.

"Don't leave me hanging what did he say?"

"He said hold on a second."

"That's not answer." Kensi grabs Nell's phone again and stares at the screen. "Oh! He's calling." She presses the phone against her ear and sends Nell a wink. "Hello mystery best friend. This is world's best roommate speaking. Nell's preoccupied trying to get her phone back."

Kensi nods and smiles and twists her hair. "We think you should come out and visit us."

Nell finally is able to grab it, halfway sitting on Kensi and two seconds away from pulling her hair.

"Eric?"

"Hi." She can hear the smile in his voice and it makes her smile.

"Oh, that's just adorable." Kensi says. Nell pushes her off the bed and pulls her covers over her face.

"So, your friends want to meet me?" He sounds tired and she realizes it's nearly 2 in the morning in Massachusetts meaning he had stayed up to talk to her.

"You should go to bed."

"You don't want me to come?" He's teasing her. It's been almost two weeks since they had actually called each other, nearly two weeks since she had heard his voice.

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we should talk when you're not about to fall asleep on me."

"No."

"No?"

"I've missed your voice." He's whispering now.

"That's lame." She whispers back, waiting a beat before saying, "I've missed your voice too."

They are silent, just listening to the other, waiting for to say something.

"Kensi seems nice."

"Yeah, she's great." Nell pops her head out of her covers to glance at her roommate. Kensi bats her eye lashes at her and Nell tosses a pillow at her.

"You should go to bed." She says again. She doesn't want to hang up with him, but she knows he has an 8am in the morning, and she doesn't want him to fall asleep in class.

"Only if you promise to call me on Saturday."

"Yes. We'll make a time later. Goodnight."

"Night Nell."

She hangs up first so he doesn't try to stay up anymore.

"So is he coming?" Kensi jumps back on her bed again, bringing her pillow with her.

"We didn't talk about that." Nell glances at her phone, where Eric had texted her goodnight again.

Kensi smiles at Nell's phone and nudges her in the shoulder. "I want to meet him."

xXx

He shows up on a Thursday in April. It's his spring break and he's using it to come and see her.

She hates the airport because it's like she's back in high school, too small to see, too small to be seen. She keeps checking her watch, waiting for a text, waiting to see Eric. It's been months since she's seen him and she misses him.

People flood out of the gate, and she stands on her toes, trying to catch a glimpse of blonde hair or glasses or any part of her best friend.

The flood slows, and her heart stops, because she doesn't see him, and he said he had gotten on the plane, but what if something went wrong, what if he was on a different plane, what if-

Someone taps her shoulder spinning her around, and then she in his arms, and he's here, in California, with her.

He lifts her so she's spinning in the air and she hasn't even seen his face yet, but she can feel him, and he still smells like summers in Jersey, and she's so happy, she's crying.

She pulls back and finally looks at him, and it's like the universe hates her. He hasn't shaved in a few days, and it somehow makes him even more attractive. He smiles at her, and her heart stops and then she throws her arms around him again, because it's been so long.

Kensi hugs him as a hello, and all her friends are asking him questions, and he's answering as best as he can, but she wants him to herself. It's been months since she's seen him, since she's been able to have him to herself, so after about an hour, she grabs his hand and pulls him back to her room. Kensi was staying with Deeks for the night.

He collapses on her bed, and she jumps up next to him, just staring at his face.

"What?" He laughs.

"Nothing. I've just missed you're face."

"I've missed your face too." He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

"What are you staring at?" She narrows her eyes at him, trying to force herself not to blush.

"You look nice. I mean- you look- umm," He sighs and falls back on the bed, taking her with him.

She sleeps in Kensi's bed that night, not trusting herself to not do something stupid.

xXx

The beach just might be Nell's favorite place in the world.

The beach with Eric just might be heaven. He had been in California for 2 days and she finally dragged all of her friends to the beach.

Deeks is an actual surfer and he gives Eric some pointers, so he could become more than just a someone who thought he could surf.

Nell lays on a towel, next to Kensi and Rose, talking about anything other than school.

"I'm going to come back to the room tonight," Kensi says, flipping on her towel. "Deeks is having some friends over for a study session and I really cannot think about law books right now. It's Saturday."

"Okay." Nell says. "Rose, do you still have the blow up bed?"

"Me? Blow up bed? Nope. Nate popped it last week." Rose glances at Kensi, and they share a smile.

"What are you guys up to?" She asks, pulling her sunglasses down.

"Nothing!" Rose jumps up and grabs Kensi's hand. "Let's go in the water. We'll see if we can get the boys to play chicken with us."

"Are you sure you want to sit on Nate's shoulder?" Nell asks, but they are already gone, jumping into the waves.

She's still cold from her earlier swim, when they opted to tan instead of coming with her, so she sits by herself, soaking up the sun, trying her hardest not to think about the fact that she has to share a bed with her best friend.

Something slashes on her skin, and she opens her eyes, just in time to see Eric flop himself down on top of her covering her in water.

"Eric!" She squeals, and tries to push him off, but he's so much taller than her now, it's nearly impossible. He crosses his arms over her stomach and lays down, smiling at her as he does.

"Stop struggling, you're warm." He mumbles. She sighs, laying back on her towel before throwing sand on him.

Every time he moves, his hair tickles her stomach, and she has to force herself not to laugh because it will just make him do it more.

"Hey, Nell." He props his head up and looks at her. "How do you feel about tattoos?"

"In what way?"

"Like me and you, getting matching ones. Or not matching but similar."

"What do you have in mind?" She's not really opposed to the idea, but she doesn't know where he got it from.

He grins at her. "Favorite elements."

"That's so cheesy."

"But it's us. And no one but us would understand."

She agrees and he smiles his brightest smile at her before laying back down on top of her. That's how she ends up Wednesday night, clutching his hand for dear life as the tattoo artist drills his favorite element into her ribs. It's a small tattoo, placed right under beneath where her bra hits, the same red/purple color that Wolfram is on the stupid periodic table shirt she got Eric years ago.

She goes first to get it out of the way, so she can watch him struggle with pain after she's dealt with it.

Eric takes it better than her. He gets her favorite element ununoctium, in black and gray, just above his heart, and she would be lying if it didn't mean anything to her.

He had slept on the floor for two days, since Kensi promised she would need her bed and would be back late, but never showed up. Nell tried to sleep on the floor, but he would always pick her up and dump her back on her bed. Rose kept making jokes, asking if they had had a good night's sleep, and Nell hated her friends.

She hated them but wanted to prove them wrong.

They had just gotten matching tattoos, and if their friendship could hold up to anything, they could share a bed without her making it weird.

And for a while, it's not. They watch stupid videos on his phone, and she pulls down his shirt multiple times to glance at his tattoo, and it's like they are 13 again, sneaking into each other's rooms at 3 in the morning because he had a nightmare about robots.

And it's fine when she turns off the lights and slips under the covers, her legs almost flush with his, and his arms behind his head so she had enough room.

And it's fine throughout the night, because she's able to fall asleep and dream peacefully, and if she leans on his shoulder it's not the end of the world.

It's not fine, however, when she wakes up, and his arm is tucked around her waist, and her hand is laced through his, and she can feel his every breath tickle the back of her neck.

Because Nell is truly, one hundred percent fucked.

She has a crush on her best friend. And not just the 'oh I think he's cute' crush. It's the major kind, where if she doesn't overthink it, she would turn around and kiss him.

The kind of crush where she wants to kiss her best friend, and wants to hold his hand as they walk down the street, and wants to take his shirt off and leave marks on his collar bones and do things that are not best friend approved.

She blames Kensi, and Rose, and even Deeks, but she has no one to blame but herself. She had wanted to kiss him for nearly 4 years now, and this, him wrapped around her as the sun filtered through the blinds was not the way to handle it.

She shifts and he grabs her tighter, pulling her closer to him. "Don't move. I'll fall off the bed."

She somehow turns herself so she's facing him, her face almost level with his collarbones. The same collar bones she was just thinking of assaulting.

"Let's not get up." He says. His eyes are still closed, and she can feel his fingers pressing into her hips, just inches from her skin.

"What do you propose we do instead?"

"Hmm." He shifts slightly, pushing himself closer to her, even if it's only to prevent himself from falling off the bed. "Run away to Europe. Open a bookstore and sell coffee and get you a little lab where you can invent things and study things and have the best computers in the world. We could be happy, not worry about this college stuff-"

If he keeps talking, she's going to kiss him. She's going to kiss him to shut him up and to tell him that she thinks she loves him, as more than a best friend. If he keeps talking, she's going to ruin everything.

"Callen says the car is ready whenever you guys are!" Kensi crashes into the room, shutting Eric up and nearly making him fall off the bed. Nell just buries her head in his chest, because she has nowhere else to go. "And I am just coming in for my charger." She reaches for something on her desk and then backs out the room slowly. "I'll see you guys later."

It's all it takes for Nell to push her idiot best friend out of the bed and force him to pack up the rest of his things.

And then, he's saying goodbye to her friends. He's saying goodbye to her.

It's only been a week, but she's relearned what it's like having him by her side every day, and this time it feels harder to say goodbye than it was before. Because he fits in with this side of her life as well as any other. He's the staple that keeps her pages together, and she doesn't want him to leave, because every time they go different ways, it feels like someone cuts off her arm.

"Someday, I'm going to convince you to run away with me." He says, stopping in front of the gate. She doesn't know how to answer him, so instead she kisses him on the cheek, almost too close to his lips, almost too close to not be just a friendly kiss.

She wants to kiss him. She wants to kiss more than anything in the world. But she can't.

Nell can't tell him how she feels, and she can't do all those things that she wants to, because he's more to her than just someone she wants to kiss.

"A month and a half." She says when she pulls back, grasping his hand as she does. "Less than 60 days."

"Can't wait."

She lets him go, and he looks at her again, before breaking out into a smile. "Remember best friend," He says, pulling down the collar of his shirt, so the new tattoo stands out to her. "You're always in my heart."

"And you're always in my ribs!"

He blows her a kiss before he disappears into the gate.

Someone comes and wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Oh sunshine," Kensi sighs, pulling her toward the door. "You got it bad."

xXx

In junior year, he texts her and tells her he has a girlfriend. He name is Blaze, she's a freshman, a computer science major, and he thinks Nell would really like her.

Two weeks after that, Nell almost kisses Nate. They are alone and slightly drunk and he makes her laugh and understands her problems and he's a good guy. It takes until she's on her knees on the couch so she can reach his face to realize she only wants to kiss him because he reminds her of Eric.

Somehow, she gets over the embarrassment of that, and Nate doesn't even remember it, but her whole world is spinning out of control. She knows a girlfriend is good for him. He never really had one in high school, and Blaze seems to treat him right.

Nell visits three months into their relationship. And really, Blaze is nice. She's even more adventurous than Eric. She likes the things he likes, and she's nice to Nell. Nell wants to like her, she really does, but for the first time in her life, Nell feels like she's not Eric's top person. Which she knew would happen eventually, but it still sucks.

"So Blaze thought my tattoo was lame, until I told her what it meant, and she wanted me to tell you she thinks your favorite element is bad ass." Eric says, barely audible over the noise in her dorm. It's the day after midterms, and everyone is partying, but they hadn't had time to talk since she got back to California three weeks ago, and she misses him.

"Tell her I said thank you, and that your favorite element is lame." She doesn't want to think about the fact that Blaze had seen Eric shirtless, and think about what that means, being December in Massachusetts. Nell always knew there was going to be a day when someone else saw what she saw in Eric, but it doesn't make her feel even less sick.

"You're lame."

"Ha." She burrows herself into her blankets a bit more and yawns. "Is she going to come home with you for Christmas?"

"Probably not. That would be a lot."

"Too soon?"

"Yeah. Plus, like, I want to spend time with you."

They break up two weeks before summer vacation, and Nell doesn't know how to handle Beale after a breakup. He knew to bring her ice cream and watch chick flicks with her until she wanted to play video games, but Eric was different.

He didn't seem too upset, unless the conversation stopped for long enough for him to get inside his own head. Blaze had broken up with him, on grounds of not wanting to be in a long term relationship in college because she had plans and goals and being involved with someone could hurt that. Eric said he understood, but Nell could also tell it hurt him.

So she buys him a new video game, and the biggest drone she can find on Amazon, and when they go to the beach, she lets him teach her how to surf, even though she's terrible. His mom sees their tattoos and she nearly stops talking to Eric for an entire week until he bakes her everything she ever taught him how to bake, and Emily's boyfriend proposes to her on the beach, and they somehow are allowed to start a bonfire, and every second she spend with him, Nell starts to miss him more.

They have a single year of college left, and then, it's the real world. The real world where they have jobs and apartment and friends and Nell realizes, she's going to stay in California, because that's where she's happy, and she doesn't know what Eric wants to do. And if he decides to stay on the East coast or anywhere else, she realizes it's never going to be the same again.

Mr. and Mrs. Beale go on a cruise for a week, so Emily invites all of her friends from work and school so the beach house is filled to capacity. She puts Eric and Nell in the same room, and Nell hates that she can't think of anything expect for the last time they shared a bed and she's older now, and will definitely be drunker now, and she wants to rip her own heart out and toss it into the ocean.

He's lying on the bed, sun spent and flicking through pages of a book she's certain he's read at least 10 times before.

"Keep reading that book and before you know it, you will memorize it." She sits next to him, sending texts back to Kensi and Rose about the apartment they are getting for the semester.

"This one is my professors copy." He says, not taking his eyes off the pages.

"Which one?"

"The one who convinced me to minor in lit." He pauses and looks up at her. "You're bored. Shall we go force Emily and her friends to entertain us?"

Nell shakes her head and falls back next to him. All the talk of the apartment and weddings and everything has stressed her out, and she hates being stressed more than anything. She never really liked thinking about the future or a job or anything. That's why she likes the summer and likes the beach because it always gave her the feeling of forever, even in the smallest of ways.

But she's thinking about the future, and about the fact that she wants Eric to have a part in it, even if he's a million miles away when her stupid mouth betrays her.

"You should come out to California after graduation."

The book falls into the space between them. She squeezes her shut but she doesn't even try to take it back. She doesn't want to.

"You think?"

She doesn't respond because she doesn't trust herself.

"I'll look into it." His voice is steady, and she doesn't want to open her eyes and see what his actual reaction is.

She's not sure she can handle it.

xXx

Their first apartment together is a mess. He's struggling to find a job he likes, and she trying to balance working at a think tank and living in LA and still making time to hang out with Kensi and Rose at least twice a month and it's killing her. She's losing sleep and her head always hurts and she likes the work, but she hates the work place and then there's Eric.

He stays up way too late playing video games and then forces himself to go to a job that he hates because nowhere else seems to be hiring and then he comes back and he always, always has a smile for her, even if he frowns a bit more than she's used to.

He's always worried over her, though, always rushing her to sleep at reasonable times, and taking her out to lunch because sometimes she forgets to eat. And then, somehow, it clicks.

She stops being the new girl, and starts being the one the boss, a woman even shorter than her named Hetty, asks to do special favors, and Eric finds a job in internet security, where he gets to write code and hack things for good reasons, and she starts to find time again and the world isn't as dark as it was.

They find a pattern, a rhythm. He gets up earlier than her and has her coffee in her favorite cup always sitting on the island. On Thursdays, he always leaves her a muffin or a brownie or sometimes even pancakes, because he knows she hates Thursday more than any other day of the week. She makes dinner and he does the dishes. Laundry day is Saturday, and they force each other to go. Sundays are reserved for video games and Tuesday nights are game night, and Kensi and Deeks and Nate and Rose all have a key, which typically ends up with some of them or all of them at their apartment on the weekends because it's the biggest and they have the nicest TV.

Sam and Callen would have keys too, but Sam joined the Navy SEALs and Callen moved to DC. The group had shrunk, just noticeably, but every now and then she would get an email from Sam or a text from Callen letting her know they were okay. It wasn't the same. She knew after college nothing would be the same, but everyone was okay, everyone was surviving and making the best of what they could, and she was happy.

Nell dates four guys in nine months, nothing ever getting too serious. Eric goes on dates, but never goes on second ones, and he says he too advice from Kensi on it, which makes Nell confused because he's her best friend, they are supposed to go to each other for advice, but honestly, she is grateful.

He never has any of his dates over, until the day he does. Nell walks in from work, ready for a movie and beer, but someone who is definitely not her or Kensi or Rose is sitting on the couch, playing Call of Duty with Eric.

Said someone is laughing and leaning into Eric, and then her hand is in his knee, and Nell leaves as quickly as she entered. She's not sure how but she ends up Nates place. She doesn't realize how late it is until he opens the door and he's rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Nell?"

"I'm sorry, it's late I shoul-"

"Come in." He grabs her arm and tugs. Then, before she knows how or why, she's spilling everything to him, but she's not saying names and everything hurts and Nate can barely keep up with her, but he's trying.

"Nell." He stops her, grabbing her shoulders, forcing her look at him instead of the wall.

"What?"

"You have to tell him."

"What?" She deflates, her mouth no longer able to keep up with her brain.

"Eric-"

"I never said it was Eric."

He shoots her one of his signature soon to be Dr. Getz official psychologist looks, and she crumbles.

"You didn't kiss me a few years ago because of him."

"You remember that." She asks.

"Of course I do." He stares at her a beat longer before standing up. "Want something to drink?"

She shakes her head and looks at her phone for the first time since she had arrived. Eric had sent her three messages asking when she we coming home and if she was okay. She sends him one back before accepting the glass from Nate.

"You have to tell him, kiddo." He nudges her leg.

"Tell who?" Rose pops her head out of the bedroom. "Oh! Nell, hi!" She comes out into the living room, Nate's dress shirt falling down almost past her knees. "Are you telling her to tell Eric that she likes him?" She perches herself on the edge of the couch, leaning into Nate.

It takes Nell way too long to put the pieces together in her head. "Oh my god. I'm sorry, I should have-"

"Nell, shut up." Rose kicks her and smiles. "It was bound to come out soon enough."

Nate smiles at the floor before looking up at Rose, and Nell suddenly feels like she's watching something that she shouldn't.

"Guys, this is great!" She glances at her phone. There's three more texts from Eric and she sends him another saying she'll be home soon. "I have to go. But thank you, for the advice and you know everything."

She's out on the street before they can say anything else. When she gets back to the apartment, the girl is gone, but Eric's sitting on the couch, a book in his hand and a cup of tea by his side.

"You didn't have to leave before, you know." He drops the book on the table and sends her a look that could almost rival Nate's.

"You could have given me a head's up." She sounds angrier than she wants too.

"It was last minute. Spur of the moment. I'm sorry."

She glares at him again before taking his tea. Nate's word echo around in her head, but she ignores them. She ignores everything.

"What's her name?"

"Sarah. She's from work."

"Cool."

"Cool."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Are you just going to keep repeating me, or?" She asks. She falls onto the couch next to him, and picks up his book. She knows she should tell him, or kiss him, or do something, anything that will tell him she likes him, but she can't find the words.

"I feel like we're fighting about Jimmy Finch again." He drops his arm around her should and pulls her closer. "She's just a friend."

Nell doesn't realize that he's reassuring her, something he wouldn't be doing if he didn't feel something too. She's too tired, too emotionally spent to think of anything past the warm mug in her hands and the pattern he's tapping out on her shoulder.

"Good to know." Her head drops to his shoulder, and she's out like a light before he can answer her.

xXx

Her lips fall onto his and her entire world changes. Its Christmas, the first year they aren't going home because they have work and plans and not enough time or money to fly home for a few days.

So they stay home. Kensi and Deeks come over. Emily and her husband fly from the east coast because the Beale's are going to Germany. One of the twins, Sydney, and his boyfriend drive from Colorado.

The apartment is crowded and loud and Nell loves it. She hasn't seen any of her siblings in way too long, and Sydney had always been fun to hang out with.

Before Nate leaves to go to Rose's parents, he hangs up mistletoe all over the apartment. It had been there tradition since her first year of college, and Nell has an almost perfect score of never being caught underneath. It was only tarnished by Deeks two year ago, when he planned and waited and caught her by surprise, because he was sick of her being perfect. She's good for two days, using her height to her advantage, never getting caught with someone until the day she is.

It's Christmas Eve and everyone is there and she's had maybe one or two too many eggnogs, so she forgets to step out of the way, just as Eric is walking past.

Emily gasps. Kensi cheers. It takes Nell a second too long to notice what is happening, and then she kisses him. She has to pull his head down so she can reach him, and its rather quick, not even enough time for him to really react and then it's over.

She's waited nearly ten years for that kiss and it was less than spectacular. She runs to the kitchen before he can say anything, before anyone can say anything, and pours herself another drink.

"Nell," Kensi touches her shoulder and Nell forces the smile on her face and turns to her.

"It's fine. I'm fine."

Kensi pulls her into a hug, and Nell lets her face crumble for two seconds, before she pulls away.

"Honestly, I'm fine."

She walks back into the main room, to where everyone else is watching Frosty the Snowman. Her brother sizes her up and moves to stand but she shakes her head at him and falls onto the couch next to Emily.

She refuses to look at Eric, refuses to think about how sort of terrible the kiss was, refuses to let herself be upset on Christmas.

"Nell," Emily grabs her hand. "Hey, listen-"

"It's fine."

"No, Nell, he likes-"

Kensi crashes into the room, her arm full of bags. "Since Deeks and I are not going to be here tomorrow, we have presents."

Kensi saves her from conversations she wants to avoid and she somehow avoids everything until everyone is asleep. Emily is in Eric's room and Sydney is in hers and Nell and Eric are on the couch.

Which hadn't bothered her until now.

She's rushing around, picking up everything so it won't be there in the morning. She also pops a batch of cookies in the oven to take her mind off of things, when Eric grabs her wrist.

Nell tries to shake him off, but he tugs, and then somehow, his lips are on hers, and it's good.

No it's better than good, it's great. Her hand falls onto his chest, and his falls onto her waist, and it's an actual kiss this time instead of whatever it was before. He pulls her closer, so close her feet are almost no longer touching the ground, and this is the kiss she had been looking for since she was 15.

He pulls back, smoothing a piece of her hair down. "I thought you deserved a proper kiss."

She's a little breathless and her minds a little blank, but her best friend just kissed her, again, and she doesn't know what she's supposed to feel.

She feels alive and doomed and crazy and in love and her head almost hurts but she can't seem to move.

Eric takes the cookies out of the oven and tosses a pillow on the floor. "Merry Christmas, Nell."

And then she's alone, sitting in the kitchen, trying to not to think of the kiss over and over and over again.

xXx

They are alone on New Year's. Nell doesn't want to sleep anywhere but in her bed and she wants to drink too much champagne. And Eric doesn't want to be anywhere she isn't.

It's like they are kids again, playing too many video games, eating too many cookies, and just being together.

She hasn't brought up the kiss at Christmas, and he didn't act like anything was different. But it is. Every time he brushes past her, her heart speeds up. Every time he puts his arm around her, she tenses. Everything is different and she hates it, but she doesn't want to talk about it.

He's humming along to whatever pop song is playing on TV and she's getting a second plate of Chinese food, and she thinks, this year it's going to be okay. She's going to stop thinking about the last week, and the last 10 years, and he's just going to be her best friend.

"Nell! Hurry the count downs starting!"

He passes her a glass and wraps an arm around her shoulder, and then next thing she knows, he's kissing her. She can hear the music in the background and it's the New Year, and Eric Beale is still kissing her, and it's even better than Christmas.

And then, they are more than kissing.

Their glasses find their way to floor, and his hands find their way up her shirt, and she finds their way to the couch, and her mind is screaming at her, and her heart is pounding so fast she thinks it might stop.

It stops almost as quickly as it starts. He pulls away from her, his mouth slightly open, his pupils blown wide, his cheeks are red, and he's just staring at her.

"I'm-"

She puts finger over his lips, and closes her eyes. "Don't you dare."

"Okay, okay." He sits back, and she fixes her shirt and someone on the TV says something she can't remember. "Should we-"

"No." She's not ready to talk about it. She hasn't been ready for 10 years, and she is definitely not ready when she's drunk and in her pajamas and her mind is still screaming and all of her nerves on edge. She needs to think. She needs to not talk to him right now.

"Okay."

xXx

She tells Nate, who tells her to talk to Eric. Rose tells her the same thing. Kensi looks halfway between ecstatic and ready to kill someone, and she doesn't know which is worst. Deeks just smiles at her and ruffles her hair and tells her It's about time.

Sydney calls her two days after New Years', and for some reason she finds herself telling him, and he's telling her that she should go for it, because he had seen them grow up together, and if there was anyone in the entire world who could make her happy and know exactly how to handle her, it was Eric.

That whole conversation results in 5 more phone calls from every sibling she has, because Sydney can't keep his mouth shut, and she finds herself crying at some point because she misses her family, and Belle and David promise to come and visit within the next six months.

March comes around, and she still hasn't said anything. It's not because she's not ready anymore, because at this point she just wants to get it out of the way now, but there is no good time.

Someone is always walking through the door, or she has a really bad day at work, or he's falling asleep on the couch by the time she gets home, and nothing happens.

Nothing happens when Rose and Nate get engaged. Nothing happens when Kensi and Deeks buy a house together. Nothing happens when David comes to visit, or when Belle visits, or when Emily announces she's pregnant, or when Nell gets a promotion. They celebrate all of lives milestones together, but she can't bring herself to tell him that she likes it when he kisses her and that she wouldn't be opposed to kissing on more than just random holidays.

March falls into April and then May and so on until it's July, and suddenly, they've been best friends for nearly 20 years, she's wanted to kiss him for nearly 10, and she's been in love with him for at least 3.

She finds a drone in the back of her closet and he drags them to the beach, and it's just the two of them and a box of Oreo's and she kisses him two minutes after he gets the drone up in the sky.

Nell doesn't think about it. She's staring at him while he's staring at the sky, and she needs to kiss him, to tell him, to let him know how she feels.

"What was that?" He searches her face, but she takes a shuddering breath before looking back up at him.

"I fell in love with you, accidentally. I didn't mean to."

Eric's eyes widen almost larger than his glasses.

"I've wanted to kiss you since we were fifteen and we made up from that fight about Jimmy Finch, and somehow, I realized I love you as more than a friend, more than a best friend, more than the most important person in my life. I can't live with that secret anymore." She's still looking at him, trying to gage his reaction, but she comes up short. She knows Eric Beale better than anyone else in the entire world, but she can't read him.

"I thought I was the only one."

"What?"

He smiles at her, and cups her face. "Nell, I love you too."

He kisses her again and again and again, and her heart all but stops, and her brain turns to mush.

He smiles against her lips, and she tries to stand closer to him, causing them to trip. She lands on top of him, but she's a lot smaller than him now, and he's no longer terrified of her, and she can kiss him because she wants to.

"Want to be best friends?" She asks. He's already laughing but he nods.

"We already are best friends."

"Oh, that's right." She presses her lips against his again. "Want to be my boyfriend?"

Instead of answering her and flips them in the sand and kisses her until the sun goes down and she almost forgets her own name.

They walk back to their apartment, hand in hand, and the second the door closes she kisses him again and pulls him out of his shirt, and she's half way to his belt when they hear someone cough behind them.

"We were going to stage an intervention." Nate says. He's on the couch, with Rose and Kensi and Deeks, all of who are staring at them in amusement. "But it seems we are a little late."

Nell hides herself against Eric's chest, and squeezes her eyes closed. "All of you, out. Now."

Eric pulls his shirt back on and grabs her hand. "Please." He adds. Deeks claps him on the shoulder on the way out and Nell is stuck between wanting to die and wanting to erase all her memories and running so far away so will never see anyone again.

Until the door closes, and Eric pulls her into a hug, walking them back to couch as he does.

"You know, worse comes to worst, we can always run away to Europe."

She punches him in the arm and pulls his face back to hers, and she thinks, they are going to be just alright.


End file.
